Bad Hair Day! (See the signs)

Theoretically I am having a “bad hair day” or rather a “bad man moment”! I seam to be saying and doing all the wrong things or being literally in the wrong place at the wrong time and should never have got out of bed this month “moment”!

Firstly I have worn more makeup in the last two and a half weeks than I’ve probably ever worn in my entire life because of ‘Fiddler on the Roof’. Makeup not being one my favourite pass times unless I am going out and actually want to look “good” for a particular reason or rather usually a particular person.

However, the belief is that the majority of women put on makeup not to impress men (which is probably a good thing because men don’t actually know when we have it on or not, usually) but in fact women put makeup on because of other women. This is not a homosexual thing or anything but the natural instinct of competitiveness and wanting to look better than all the other girls.

Considering I spent most of my younger life being a tom-boy with a father who called me “Mr. Ted” and inspired me with the confidence that I could do anything and everything; a mother who owned a farm and looked as much at home with six dogs as she had when she had been dancing in ‘My Fair Lady’; a much older and taller brother who I thought was amazingly “cool” with very cool friends; a grandmother who tried for years to get me to wear pretty dresses; and a menagerie of teddy bears, who are safely stored in some trunk and a couple of poor dolls which experienced my skills with scissors by having their long locks cut to a style of cru cut or bald! Yes the teddy bears were more favoured. My father took me rifle shooting while my mother and I looked after chickens and geese and any stray animals and birds that we happened across. Most of my senior schooling was spent with short hair and trying to “fit in”. I was raised to be very strong willed, an individual, opinionated and yes, a pain in the ass (if needs be).

However, I like everyone else do have my moments when the world just doesn’t seem to be the right place to be at that point in time. Right now seems to be one of those…. When one is feeling kinda fragile it would be great to be able to wear a sign that says “HANDLE WITH CARE”. Just as it would be really convenient to be able to put up signs that say “Laugh”, “Applaud”, “Hug”, “Leave alone because right now is not a good time to annoy….unless you really do want to die!”

Instead we have to continually wear a sign of smiles and “I’m fine” when really we aren’t.

So for all of those who are not in the know… Here are some facts of life! I don’t like the fact that every now and again I break out in spots but they happen! It happens for a number of reasons: stress, make-up, PMS, allergies, or even the weather, to name a few and sometimes one gets all of those at the same time! When someone comes up and asks what happened to your face and whether you were attacked by a rabid cat, doesn’t somehow make one feel any better! I know the spots are there and other than sticking my head in the ground or covering it up again with make-up which may have already been part of the cause…I’m having to live with it until they go….you, (whoever you may be) on the other hand (and now I feel like Garfield) thankfully, I don’t even have to pretend to like!

I only wish I had actually said this to the offender in question! I instead smiled sweetly and tried to laugh it off….

PMS is another fact of life. Theoretically just because men can’t prove they have monthly periods I still believe they do have them mentally and emotionally and sometimes they seem to have these on a weekly basis!

However, men don’t know just how lucky they are! They don’t have to deal with cramps, feeling extra fat and generally blah, water retention (to name but a few examples) and these days, especially considering we live in the glorious sunny Zimbabwe, working out whether one should fork out the millions on food or a fancy form of cotton wool unfortunately required for such times of the month! Also, the day men carry the equivalent weight of a bag of 10kg (give or take) roller meal in their bellies for nine months and give birth to that same bag of roller meal naturally, then and only then will I listen to what they think about women and PMS. When that happens I know I will one of quite a few happy women!

My final note is that I would like to know what kind of man it takes to strike a woman? Most of my friends have been male and there is not many if any of them that I would say would be able to hit a woman. Some of those guys have gone and still go out with some right scary women but they have never and would never hit these girls, which is probably why I’m friends with them. From my experience most guys do have a sense of humour and know that when a girl lightly punches a guy’s arm in a friendly way it isn’t a sign of aggression and is usually meant in a joking way!?? Or am I mistaken? I learnt this last week that there are some people you can do that with and some people you can not! Some people suddenly turn round and say if you do that again, I’m going to hit you and send you flying across the room! Strangely enough the tone of voice told me not to dare this comment so I refrained from knocking his arm or anything again! A few who were witness to this wanted to see if he would actually carry out his threat – I wasn’t that desperate. I was sorry to note that I am old family friends with his fiancée and I’m not quite sure if she has the best person available. Then again I have my doubts on my own judgements….