Thursday, May 31, 2007

Children and birds.

The joys of having a parrot!!! Well, other than I get to freak people out when I tell them I have a son and watch the shocked expression on their faces followed by the relieved joy when I introduce them to my green feathered spoilt child!

His name is Typsy (Typs for short) or Tweedle-dee or Twinx (as my mother calls him) and others may remember him as Squawk. He is a Blue-Fronted Amazon Parrot, this being evident in the blue colour found at the top of his beak, which would be the very front of his head. As he has matured I have noticed a growing blueness on his chest feathers. He has red colouration underneath his wings as well as a mixture of red and yellow on the lapels of his wings. He also has yellow on his head….its hard to explain without painting a picture, basically he is not an African Grey and as far as I’m concerned, much more beautiful!

As you may have gathered I’m a sucker for my bird. He does get told off when he does something he shouldn’t – and don’t ever think they don’t understand you because whether it be by the tone of one’s voice or words he has gotten used to, these birds do understand a lot more than we would like.

What has always remained the funniest moment in my mind is when someone, who shall remain nameless (but let it be known that “he” was a pain in my life a while ago), decided to teach my bird swear words, to not only irritate me but most especially my mother. The person in question would happily tell me that the bird was learning the words but when ever I came back into the room the bird wouldn’t say the words until…. One day all of us were sitting in the lounge eating, Typs was voicing his opinion at this moment, most likely because he wanted some of my food too, either way, my bird was happy and the person shouted at him to shut-up, to which Typs responded “F**k off!” This has been the only time I’ve heard my bird swear and appropriately it was at the person who taught him. Understandably, all of us who were in the room were highly amused except for the offender, of course.

The liabilities of having a parrot is every now and again they do forget their place and the fact that their beaks can do a lot of damage. My fingers and my face know this all too well! However, at the same time I do except responsibility for the times that I have done something to provoke him. All in all for the two years that Typs has been with me he has probably only bitten me badly four or five times – two of those was on the same day I got him! The rest of the time these birds do crave a lot of attention and love.

Whatever you do, if you are thinking of getting a pet of any kind but for instance a parrot be ready for your life to be changed. They are like children, your responsibility. The one thing that I have learnt is parrots have a very good memory. When I got Typs he had been in another family and hadn’t been happy. The family got rid of him because apparently he wasn’t a “people bird” and only wanted to stay in his cage.

They apparently did have kids and if there is one thing I know, kids with animals don’t always go well – it scares me some times what children will do to animals. I’ve seen a boy of six torment a frog until I got it away from him! That same boy thought it was a good idea to put his new kitten in a pillow-case and spin it round a room because that’s what his granny thought of cats. The cat did survive.

Typsy is now a completely different bird to the one I got. He still avoids children (which could be sensible) but the last place he wants to be is his cage and the first place he wants to be is with human company. Of course if you have ice-cream, then he loves you even more! The most amazing thing is how people always approach birds with their fingers outstretched towards their beaks and then they wonder why they get bitten…. What I have learnt is if Typs likes you, you will know and apparently there are people out there that he automatically likes and wants to climb on to their shoulders. Otherwise they are like cats, they will come to you when they are good and ready and like dogs, they love “their” people fully; just don’t expect them to roll over and play dead! And like children don’t expect them to make your life easy….. but you will never regret it!

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Relationship question?

Ok, I’ve decided I am not good at this “relationship” or “dating” lark. For one I am way too fussy for my own good and secondly I have the lowest self-confidence ever when it comes to someone I actually like and showing them this fact! For the rest of the time I can flirt like crazy but when my heart becomes involved, my body, constant verbal wit (rubbish) and overly friendly character/personality take twenty paces backward and I lose all confidence!

To be absolutely honest I’m petrified of firstly being rejected but most importantly being hurt. This is of course what most of us have been through and apparently, as I’ve learnt, pain is part of the cycle of life only it changes in quality, quantity, time and effect.

The metaphysical version of the heart is such a curious item. When you fall in love you suddenly feel these literal aches in places you didn’t know existed to the point you can actually feel where your physical heart is and you feel invigorated by this new sensation that runs through your body colouring every aspect of your life. At the same time you feel exhausted and you spend so much time waiting…. One’s mind is constantly playing over every conversation, look and smile. Did I say something stupid or was I actually making intelligent conversation! Well, ok, maybe not “intelligent” but so long as I didn’t make a fool of myself, I would be eternally grateful!

With people who are looking for sexual gratification, one doesn’t have to be clever or witty or particularly intelligent; you only have to worry about whether the skirt is short enough or the top showing enough cleavage (this is of course from a female perspective). The perfect example is this one friend I have who spends his entire evening when he goes out scanning the scene looking for the ever eager “short skirt”. He is the perfect example of what I imagine the primitive cave-man was like; hunt, find woman, drag back to cave and finish every conversation with “ug”!

So we have determined that I have no time for “cave-men” and I can assure you that there are plenty out there! Let me describe someone who is different then. Someone who inspires me – yes, I still want to try and make myself pretty for him but I am constantly looking forward to our next conversation. Somehow he can make me feel amazingly good about myself every time I see him. I can laugh so much about anything and everything that you wonder why you can’t feel like this always. To be able to talk about anything from fried eggs (I’m making an example, we haven’t discussed those) to the emperors new clothes (an example of the possibility of politics)! I’m talking rubbish again….but it makes sense in my head! Of course I find him very attractive as well which, is a plus. I love the way he smiles and laughs; the way he laughs with his eyes and even when he looks so serious and pensive.

First impressions are always important and my first impression of him was perfect, better than I have ever known and every time I’ve seen him since, my impression of him has only improved.

I digress though! Now that I’ve made my confession of the year and completely over shared! What I really want to know is; can a girl ask a guy out? Is it too forward and brazen? Does it scare guys or does it thrill them? Do they want to do the chasing or would they mind a girl telling them she likes them? Somehow this makes me think of the film “Notting Hill” when the female character played by Julia Roberts says, she’s just a girl standing infront of a boy, telling him she loves him and asking him to love her. Ok, it might not be exactly word for word correct but it is my point.

My uncle apparently used to have an expression; grab the bull by the horns and kill it! That was how he tried to approach everything in his life especially those things he would have preferred to leave to the last minute, as well all do. I like to use this as my inspiration but sometimes it’s easier said than done. It would however be something worth remembering – to live life with gusto instead of regret and inhibitions. For one or rather for me to say to “Mr X”, I like you, if you don’t like me that is fine but I want you to know that there is someone in this world that thinks you are great, with a beautiful mind and wonderful spirit. I am not something to be afraid of and my feelings are not something to be afraid of either but rather treasured. We are all only human looking for something to love and most of all something to care about.

Monday, May 21, 2007

L’Chaim!

So, here I am again….

I did not have a phone for the whole weekend at home so was kept from my usual “on line” activities! It is actually amazing how bored one can get! If one can’t live in another world such as television or internet then one is forced to live in the reality of this existence. At this point and time (being today, as tomorrow I may feel differently) there seems nothing worse than living in one’s own world.

I have actually thought this is why people watch the news and such things, because then they get to watch someone else’s life and after comparing notes, one can actually determine that maybe your life isn’t as bad as say someone in Iraq or someone who has just lost their home in a tsunami! It’s not a nice idea that people could actually be that “inhumane” but I think it is an honest idea.

This weekend I’ve been confronted with two road accidents, which could have been me if timing had been a little different. In the last two weeks I have actually seen two happen right in front of me which was kinda scary, the other was a few minutes before I had arrived at the scene. I find it does give you a reality check and remind you that life is very fragile and finite. It makes me think that if I was to die this very minute or within the next 24 hours, would I be happy and would I be ready to die and have I lived my life to the fullest (if such a concept is actually possible)? In all honesty the answer to all of those is no.

It takes me back to a couple of years ago (already) when I was going to go sky-diving. I thought this was very exciting and just what I wanted to do. My mother, on the other hand was absolutely petrified when I told her. I succeeded in being dragged up into the plane for the tandem jump which I must say was a most thrilling experience, even though my coach or jump partner had had to pry my fingers away from the wing support and when we touched ground my legs were shaking and I felt like kissing the ground!

The next time(s) I was supposed to jump was to happen the following weekend however, every time there seemed to be a problem; either the sky was too cloudy or the plane wouldn’t work or the one time I even drove right past the turn off to the airport (by accident)! It was supposed to be third time lucky when we finally got up into the air. Everyone jumped but when it came to me and I took a look out of the open doorway, being hit by that absolutely incredible force of wind which literally knocks the breath out of you and I said “no”! They flew around for a second time thinking I might pick up courage along the way but “no” was still the answer and I was sticking to my story! My coach agreed that he wasn’t going to force me out; apparently as far as he was concerned there had been too many hiccups as well and if my gut said “no” then he wasn’t going to be responsible for anything going wrong.

Of course the chances of something going wrong are slim but they can and sometimes do happen. I will never know if something was going to go wrong that day and I don’t want to find out. All I knew was that as I looked out of the plane and saw the immensity of what I was thinking of doing, I didn’t feel ready to die that day. So far my gut feelings have never been wrong so why should I stop listening to them now! At the same time I hate heights!

I guess I am a paranoid and I have an obsession with death. Apparently this is what happens when one hasn’t dealt with the deaths that have taken place in one’s life. It doesn’t seem to matter how much time passes, it always feels like it only happened yesterday. They, who ever “they” are, say it gets better eventually….

So, L’Chaim! To life! Live life to the fullest! Dance as though no one is watching! Love as though you have never been hurt! Most of all, remember to smile because you never know who you may affect today. That is all I can say because that is all I try to do….

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Expectations vs Sacrifice

I’m bored…. I’ve gone through my email, downloaded more webshots, changed comments on My Facebook, said “hello” to old friends that I haven’t seen for ages – probably because they have left the country, like everyone else – and I have now gained contact with all these “old friends” because of this facebook thing. I’ve watched way too much TV (again) and been contemplating the getting up early idea tomorrow so as to drag myself off to gym! In short I feel like Bridget Jones!

Did watch a very sweet movie “Just like Heaven” tonight, a typical chick-flick purely because of its sentimental and romantic aspects. The perfect story where boy meets girl, they initially fight which creates the element of humour (apparently) and of course eventually they fall in love only to live happily ever after! Very sweet!!

A female friend of mine and I went to see the show upstairs at Reps last night (Doubt) and afterwards we were chatting as usual, catching up with our lives. We were commenting as usual about the lack-there-of, of “nice” guys in this country – unfortunately it’s a favourite of our topics. We really don’t know where the guys all hide! Of course if we do go out to any of the normal places i.e. clubs etc…then one only meets up with all the “wrong” type of guys who are looking for anything, for the night at least!

It seems to be a state of confused affairs – the guys we aren’t interested in, like us, while the guys we occasionally find interesting never seem to be interested in us! I guess the guys have the same problem – they are hoping Cameron Diaz is going to knock on their door and when it’s just one of us in all our simplicity knocking they think, just like we do, “why me”!

Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice” always comes to mind for both of us – we are determined that we will find that infamous “love” element for the perfect relationship and when that happens everything will slot into place! Without that I believe there is no point to marriage. Forget about the comforts in life – I know all too well that one can NOT buy love and especially friends…well, at least not the true kind!

My idea for the perfect relationship has to be one where both partners must be the best of friends before anything else. Everyone has this idea that it’s all to do with the physical connection but that I know is the least of everyone’s problems – if all you have is a physical attraction then when that dies there will be nothing. Further more, if you plan on being married for ever (which is the archaic way but the ONLY way as far as I am concerned) then when one is 101 years old and look like death, literally warmed up, you will have to have someone really special to still love you and vice versa!

My usual question that I lay on people is, “can you see yourself with that person for the rest of your life”. If one can truly say “yes” then I think you’ve got a good start but if one can’t answer or does not honestly know, then take a step back and revaluate what you are looking for and if that person can give you that or whether in fact you can give that person the happiness they equally deserve.

I’ve come to a far wiser idea of love in my latter years…. (I’m going to go pluck out all the grey hairs now…or maybe just shave it all off!) This understanding comes with much loneliness, sadness and introspection. It is the simple things in life that make you appreciate what you have in life even if it is only for a short time. It’s the fact that I still feel my father’s hand on my back and I wish it wasn’t just a memory. It is the meaning of a “thank you” when it is the last words you hear from that person. It is the love you receive from a person who stands by you through thick and thin, no matter how much you have let them down. It’s that phone call that you receive from that friend who is all the way in France but somehow she knows you need to speak to someone and that no matter the distance she is still your friend. It is the poor white guy at my church whom I know lies but if I can help him I will and further more I always hope that one day he will be honest and he will have a change of luck. Maybe the best example though is that friend who gives up His life without any expectations except that He loved us.....

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Me

I'm looking for another photo....
In fact I'm waiting for the reps picture to come out on the net - there I look really beautiful dressed up as a "pantomime hag"! Now that was fun!









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Friday, May 04, 2007

Cape Town Ballet!

Wow! Wow!! Wow!!!!!!! Amazing! Brilliant!

If anyone gets a chance to see them then please do because they have to be the most amazing dancers we have seen in a long time! My mother being the strictest critic ever especially when it comes to ballet and considering there are very few shows that I will actually stand through, this was definitely worth it!

We were unfortunately late and so as it was a full house (Saturday is already full house too) it was kinda impossible to find two seats together by that point. Mom was thankfully able to sit down and the only other available seat in my view was broken (the fact that 7Arts isn’t full very often, they apparently don’t fix the seats) so I tried to disappear into the wall and stood with one of the ushers – ironic when you think we had actually paid for our seats but this is Zim (a bad excuse, I know and one that I despise but all the same a fact of life). It is a pity that one can’t actually book the seats like any normal theatre production…. However, I am not going to complain!

The show was brilliant! The dancers beautiful! Accordingly to my mother their technique was perfect especially the Prima Ballerina. From a lay point of view who has grown up with an ex-ballerina and someone who further more loved Nureyev, I couldn’t fault them and they kept me captivated. The men looked like men…one did forget that he was supposed to lead his partner but it does happen when you think you are more beautiful than the woman. The costumes simple and yet stunning (I particularly liked the pretty pink dress)!! Lights could have had some work….but that is the critic and the perfectionist in me coming out…again! Music was wonderful!

I know it’s something that mom misses so much; ballets and operas and….dare I say, professional productions. No offence to anyone (being an amateur dramatist myself I feel free to criticise and I am my own worst enemy), effort and passion is great and courageous but there is always something of that complete picture that needs filling; the element of perfection.

I know when I saw “Cats” in London a few years ago it completely blew my mind! It was the most incredible show I’d ever seen and I’ve seen a few….

However, considering the fact we don’t have the Cape Town ballet or the Drury Lane actors on our doorstep we have to appreciate what we do have and the fact that once a year we still get to have HIFA. This way we can still experience the arts of so many varied peoples and the talents of so many stars or future aspirants and see that even though we may be falling apart at the seams, people can still appreciate culture and we still have so much to offer….