Thursday, May 10, 2007

Expectations vs Sacrifice

I’m bored…. I’ve gone through my email, downloaded more webshots, changed comments on My Facebook, said “hello” to old friends that I haven’t seen for ages – probably because they have left the country, like everyone else – and I have now gained contact with all these “old friends” because of this facebook thing. I’ve watched way too much TV (again) and been contemplating the getting up early idea tomorrow so as to drag myself off to gym! In short I feel like Bridget Jones!

Did watch a very sweet movie “Just like Heaven” tonight, a typical chick-flick purely because of its sentimental and romantic aspects. The perfect story where boy meets girl, they initially fight which creates the element of humour (apparently) and of course eventually they fall in love only to live happily ever after! Very sweet!!

A female friend of mine and I went to see the show upstairs at Reps last night (Doubt) and afterwards we were chatting as usual, catching up with our lives. We were commenting as usual about the lack-there-of, of “nice” guys in this country – unfortunately it’s a favourite of our topics. We really don’t know where the guys all hide! Of course if we do go out to any of the normal places i.e. clubs etc…then one only meets up with all the “wrong” type of guys who are looking for anything, for the night at least!

It seems to be a state of confused affairs – the guys we aren’t interested in, like us, while the guys we occasionally find interesting never seem to be interested in us! I guess the guys have the same problem – they are hoping Cameron Diaz is going to knock on their door and when it’s just one of us in all our simplicity knocking they think, just like we do, “why me”!

Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice” always comes to mind for both of us – we are determined that we will find that infamous “love” element for the perfect relationship and when that happens everything will slot into place! Without that I believe there is no point to marriage. Forget about the comforts in life – I know all too well that one can NOT buy love and especially friends…well, at least not the true kind!

My idea for the perfect relationship has to be one where both partners must be the best of friends before anything else. Everyone has this idea that it’s all to do with the physical connection but that I know is the least of everyone’s problems – if all you have is a physical attraction then when that dies there will be nothing. Further more, if you plan on being married for ever (which is the archaic way but the ONLY way as far as I am concerned) then when one is 101 years old and look like death, literally warmed up, you will have to have someone really special to still love you and vice versa!

My usual question that I lay on people is, “can you see yourself with that person for the rest of your life”. If one can truly say “yes” then I think you’ve got a good start but if one can’t answer or does not honestly know, then take a step back and revaluate what you are looking for and if that person can give you that or whether in fact you can give that person the happiness they equally deserve.

I’ve come to a far wiser idea of love in my latter years…. (I’m going to go pluck out all the grey hairs now…or maybe just shave it all off!) This understanding comes with much loneliness, sadness and introspection. It is the simple things in life that make you appreciate what you have in life even if it is only for a short time. It’s the fact that I still feel my father’s hand on my back and I wish it wasn’t just a memory. It is the meaning of a “thank you” when it is the last words you hear from that person. It is the love you receive from a person who stands by you through thick and thin, no matter how much you have let them down. It’s that phone call that you receive from that friend who is all the way in France but somehow she knows you need to speak to someone and that no matter the distance she is still your friend. It is the poor white guy at my church whom I know lies but if I can help him I will and further more I always hope that one day he will be honest and he will have a change of luck. Maybe the best example though is that friend who gives up His life without any expectations except that He loved us.....

No comments: